Is this familiar to you?

You’re moving some papers around at home and discover a letter from your sponsored child. You received it a few months ago. You gasp and vow to write back tonight.

Or tomorrow. You set it on the table and move onto the dinner you need to cook, the homework you have to help, the meetings, the activities, etc.

Several weeks later, you find the letter again. You chide yourself and decide to write back soon.

More time passes, and you’re no closer to writing a letter. Now it seems harder. Where do you start? The first think you think of is an apology for not writing sooner. Or writing more. Your guilt grows. Now you’re in no mood to write, and the letter gets put off for another day…

I certainly know that pattern, that mixture of hesitation and shame that seems to stop the words from flowing. If you, like me, made a resolution to write your child more, you probably did so out of guilt. In fact, I recently heard a radio personality say during an on-air sponsorship drive that the main reason he hasn’t sponsored an additional child is that he doesn’t write to his first sponsored child enough.

I was somewhat surprised and appreciated his honesty. But it made me wonder – where did this guilt come from? Is it everywhere? Why is it so paralyzing?

I know that many of my posts focus on the importance of writing to your sponsored child, but my intent was not to guilt you into writing. If anything, I want to help you overcome those feelings to write more consistently. With that in mind, here are two simple tips to get over the guilt and get your letter in the mail:

1. Don’t apologize. If you feel like you must, stop with “I’m sorry for not writing you sooner/more often.” You may have a valid reason for not writing, but reading your well-intentioned explanation may have the opposite effect – those details may just emphasize the terrible lie that poverty sneaks into a child’s heart – that they don’t matter.
2. Instead, move past the apology (and the explanation you’re itching to provide) and
   focus on your child. Ask questions: How have you grown in the time since I’ve written? How are you doing in math, since the last time you wrote you found it a difficult subject. Are you receiving help at the project? Use that last letter as a starting point. You asked me to pray for your mother and I have – how is she doing?

Focusing on encouragement rather than explanations or apologies is what your child needs. Yes, your letter is a tangible reminder that you haven’t forgotten about them. That slip of paper is a weapon that child can use to fight the discouragement of their circumstances. It is something a child can physically cling to and read over and over again as they learn more about Jesus and the God who cares so much for them.

So the next time the guilt rises in you, nip it in the bud. Say a prayer for your child and write when you can. And fill that letter, that postcard, that note with encouraging, uplifting words.

Are you ready to sit down and write? I am.